Now a days there is tons of infomercials about the worlds latest and greates ab machines, treadmills, and whatever weight loss b.s. Its almost everyday that I see at least something new being pitched on tv. Either its another ab rocker or that weird Tony Little guy who doesnt fit into his shorts anymore.
Maybe once in a blue moon there is a product that is worth it and works. But dont keep your hopes up.
You see I learned a big lesson a long time ago. I was about 10 or 11 yrs old when one day I was watching tv and the show Kenan & Kel came on. For those of you whove watched it you know Kel loves orange soda. Well in the episode he gets rich and ends up buying a swimming pool of orange soda and swims in it. Hes in heaven and it looks awesome!
So that day my dad went to work and left his wallet there with “emergency money” and I decide to “borrow” 50 bucks. Its an “emergency” right! I walked to the gas station which was about 4 blocks away and I buy 50 dollars worth of orange soda, practically all they had. This was probably the only time I thought to myself “im not sure if this is a great idea anymore“. I had to take about 8 trips back and forth with all the soda and in the texas summer heat!
Finally I made it. I went to the tub, poured all the orange soda, and got butt ass naked. I was wondering if Kel was naked when he was swimming, but then I was like nah its my germs anyway. So by this time ive been so worked up, all my efforts and 45 min of getting this ready and its finally here. I was about to feel the greatest thing on earth!
I jumped in! For the first 2 seconds it was AWESOME!!!! I drank some and spit it out like a fountain! Until it landed back in my eyes and then I realized maybe, just maybe, this isnt something your supposed to be swimming in. My eyes were burning, skin all sticky, drank too much so my tummy was full, and my ears and nose were full of it. It was just then my dad busted in and saw my little “expirament“. We both were silent but our looks said it all. I had the dont ask look of disapointment, and he had the WTF are you doing look.
Long story short I got sold into thinking swimming in orange soda was the best thing in the world! Dont always beleive what you see on t.v.! Especially about weight loss. So next time your watching a guy with tight speedos on tv telling you this ab machine is the best, CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!
P.S. Project B is finally revealed! After months of working my tail off for this to finalize its done! Those of you living in or around Boerne, we have opened up shop! Your very own Get Sexy San Antonio Bootcamps, with a little twist! Added some TRX to double your results!
LOL!!!! I love this…. This and the pencils story. Yeah the pencils story was good.